Do You Boo!

It’s swimsuit season, yikes! Many of us will be spending more time at beaches, pools, and water parks where we will be showing more skin than usual.

Thanks to social media, there have been memes circulating about beach bodies and whatnot, typical right?


If you’re like me, you have things about your body you don’t like, and may not be comfortable being in a swimsuit.  I am here to tell you the things you do not like, tend to be the things others admire.

In my case, I have lost muscle definition due to me not working out as much like I have done in the past.  As much as I dislike how I look now, so many other mothers compliment me, and I genuinely never know how to feel. It’s quite possible these same women feel the same way when others compliment them. Strange, I know.

I recently wore a two-piece to the pool, and I was freaking out over whether or not people would notice my stretch marks on my stomach. Guess what? NOBODY cared! I was freaking over nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I’m here to tell you, embrace those imperfections! They make you who you are. As I tell people, my stretch marks add character. Don’t let your own thoughts be the thing to discourage you from wearing something you’d totally look bomb in!

When someone compliments you, take it as an affirmation, and don’t be afraid to compliment others. We all need that extra umph every now and again.

This season when venturing to participate in the various water activities, wear what you’re comfortable in, and do you boo!

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Mama, Where’s Chris?

April 13th, 2017, I took my son to his first concert. Not just any concert, but a Chris Brown  concert.

His attendance to this concert was heavily dependent upon his behavior at school.  He’s not a “bad” child, but his emotions can get the best of him and he will act out. I am fiercely working on teaching my boys that you should react with logic not with emotion.  He may only be five, but he’s learning better than I expected him to.
As soon as I saw that Chris was going on tour, I knew I wanted to go. Since my son was three, he’s said he wants to sing and dance like Chris. He’ll sit and watch Chris on YouTube and sing and dance. I too love Chris, so I’ll join him.

So with our deal of him working on his behavior at school to attend the concert, made things interesting. I can say that we did notice how he reacted to things, his teacher also noted it. I can think of maybe two situations where I had to remind him what he was working for and he quickly changed his tone. Nonetheless, he earned his privilege to attend the concert!

Concert day arrives,  I ask if he’s excited. He responds with a big ol’ grin that parents love to see on their children’s faces. He went to school like he does every Thursday, and at about 12:15pm, I went to check him out. He got in the car asking, “Is Chris in town?”, I told him yes he is. He then proceeded with a checklist of other questions.

We go home to nap and eat before we are set to embark on the hour drive to New Orleans.

We arrived at the Smoothie King Arena around 6:30pm. When we’re walking to the security gates, the questions resume. “Is he here right now?” “Am I gonna see him?” I assure him he’ll get to see Chris soon enough.

Once inside, we get our snacks and head to our seats. We passed vendors, and surprisingly he didn’t want a souvenir. I kept asking was he sure, and when he responded with aggravation, I left him alone. In 5-year old fashion, he wasted no time eating his food.

Our first mother son concert selfie

Usually I prefer to be on the floor at concerts, but this go round I chose club level to accommodate my baby. If I must say so, our seats were perfect.

Our view of the stage

We had an amazing view. The show began around 8PM with an artist named Casanova. I didn’t know any of his music, but his stage presence was nice. He did a little dance and my son goes, ” ooooooo mama, he’s gonna trip”. I still don’t know why that was so hilarious to me. After Cas, Kap G performed. I was only familiar with him because of my baby sister. He did good as well, stage presence was great. When he was about 3 songs in, that’s when the complaints started from my son. “Ugh, where is Chris? How long these people gonna be up here? Can Chris please come on?” I was sooooooo tickled because he was too serious, he meant he wanted to see Chris and Chris only.  After Kap G, there was OT Genasis. I didn’t get any questions during his performance, only because my son knew the music.

 

 

Next up was Fabolous. Let me just say, I love Fab, his style, his being very laid back, he’s just a cool guy. He went back, like early 2000’s back. I was up on my feet singing. Idk if it was because I was having fun, but the questions resumed. “Mama where is Chris? I explained how he was coming on stage after fab was done. He tells me, ” I’m ready to go home”. I told him just take a nap until Chris comes out, I couldn’t think of any other alternatives.

The moment of truth. After a brief intermission, the arena goes dark, “It must be Chris turn mama”.

 

 

Now he’s on his feet and grinning! It melted my little heart to my baby uber excited. When he saw Chris drop to the stage, he was no longer interested in bothering me.

Here I am at a Chris Brown concert with my first born totally enjoying himself. I was so proud to see him enjoying himself, I felt like a super parent.

 

 

Chris pulled out some classics and took me back to high school and undergrad. A time before my son was even thought of.

 

This entire experience, from my son learning to control his emotions and reactions, to him attending the concert was an awesome experience. Here he is 5, and has been to his first concert, I was about 12 when I experienced my first concert. To see my baby sing and dance along with someone he admires was pretty freakin awesome. I want to be the mom who supports her children in all their endeavors no matter how illogical or silly they may appear to me. I don’t ever want to crush any of my children’s dreams.

Once the concert was over, my son wasn’t ready to leave. He told me how he was going to sing and dance in stage one day.  I told him that if that’s what he wants, don’t let anyone, not even his parents to discourage him.

Chris Brown is an amazingly talented man, and I like that my beyond amazing son admires him as a performer.

The Party Tour 

I’m grateful I got to experience this with my son. I look forward to attending numerous other things he’s interested in.

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And They’re Off!

31 days into the new year, and my oldest son gives us a scare. 
I was asleep, and I was a awakened by several phone calls from his father. I return them. Still half sleep, I’m listening to him tell me how he’s about to take my baby to the emergency room. I was like “Whaaat? Wait why?!?” 

Trying to wake up and process what he was telling me is funny to me now, but it wasn’t when it was happening. 

I jumped up, threw some clothes on, and drove briskly to the ER. 

Google Images

When I arrive, dad was answering questions, and the kid was lying in the bed watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. In my mind I’m like “ok he’s nice and comfy while I’m panicked”. I mean he was just chilling. 

Google Images

So the doc basically tells us that the kid has something lodged in his ear, it’s not a toy though. Hmm ok. Son what’s in your ear. The doctor leaves to get his colleague to come take a look. 

While he was gone, dad and I are asking questions, attempting to figure out how he got something in his ear. As most may know, 5-year olds are elaborate storytellers. We got several different stories, some were funny, and some we were like ok son, that’s an extreme exaggeration.

The doctors come back, one had his campers light in tow. He managed to get a good look into my sons ear. Low and behold, the mystery item is a red bead. It’s Mardi Gras season here in Louisiana, so maybe he was feeling festive.

Google Images

Now I’m thinking what would possess my child to put a bead in his ear. Even before we questioned him, I knew he did it. Even with his ever changing story, I knew he did it. You just know your children. 

So the docs go on to tell us how they’re gonna attempt to get it out, if not, he has to go to an ENT specialist. Great! Let’s hope they can get it out. 

No luck! The kid was too fidgety. Oh! I forgot to mention they gave him some medication to relax him, and it still didn’t work. Great! I hate, hate, hate giving my kids medication, so I was feeling a way about that. 

I will say we got some great laughs from this ordeal. He goes to the ENT soon, so I wonder what memories will come from that. 

Dad and I joked about how we’ll be in the ER a lot as we both have two sons. My two are certainly a force to be reckoned with. As a mother of boys, I’ve accepted that I’ll be in the hospital a many of days as my boys are curious and extremely rough. I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

So 2017 has already been filled with adventure from the boys, I’m curious to see what else they can potentially get into this year. 

My boys

What are some things your child(ren) have done to give you a great scare?  
As the adventures unfold, I’ll keep you guys posted.

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No More Diapers! 

Hello! It’s been a while. Due to grad school and my personal life, I have been severely slacking in my writings. I have some unpublished posts that I’ll get around to posting in the next couple of days. 

This particular post is about how I potty trained my two year old, and how it feels damn good to not buy diapers. 

So my mom sent my sisters and me an article in our group chat about the 3-day potty training method. I was sucked in by the “3 day”. My almost 5 year old was potty trained by dad, so I was seeking the best method for my baby boy. I’m home with him all day, and it was much more feasible for me to potty train him than dad. 

In the article The Two-Day Method of Potty Training, it talked of what you needed for this method to work. I can say that time and patience were key. Oh, and lots, A LOT, of underwear!

His immediate reaction to seeing the potty for the first time

I purchased my son a potty, and we did not go anywhere for three days. I like to believe he was ready be dude he saw big brother using the restroom. Day one was a breeze, he only had one accident. Day two went just as well. Day 3 the same.  

Those three days went by easily. It wasn’t until a few days afterwards that we ran into bed wetting issues. I stopped giving him liquids after 7pm, and that issue resolved itself. 

Potty training seemed so simple, oh but then we ran into him not knowing when to go to the potty in the event of a bowel movement, ewww! Why wasn’t I warned about this?!? Ha, nobody told me I’d literally be cleaning sh!t up. Again, time and patience helped me through. He’d be so excited when he made it to the pot in time. 

Here we are in November, and he’s now a pro. I don’t want to jinx myself, but we still haven’t had bed wetting. The only issue we have now, is him waiting until the last minute to try to get to a toilet. L O L, I’ve found he has a thing for peeing outside. Will that even end?!?!

My kiddo will me 2 1/2 years next month, and I managed to have him potty trained before then. It took approximately 4 months to have him completely potty trained and independently going to the lavatory. I must say, it’s a great feeling having both boys out of diapers. It’s a greater feeling not having to buy diapers. 

This journey with my son wasn’t easy, there were times I was completely frustrated, I mean who wants to clean up poop, but rather than blowing my top, I talked to him and explained how big boys go in the potty, not on the floor. 

Somewhere along the line, he gave up hid potty and mow uses the big toilet. He even stands to pee, I think men should sit to pee, but hey. 

Be on the lookout for more posts in the next couple days, and a great big THANKS for reading!

My babies

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My Initiation Into The Beyhive 🐝

September 24th, 2016 I had my first Yoncé experience. I know, I know, I’m late, but better late than never.

I have always liked her music, but I’m not one of her crazed stans, so attending a concert of hers wasn’t at the top of my list.

Earlier this year, Beyoncé performed for the Super Bowl halftime, and I thought what she did was so amazing. She made a very powerful statement with her release of the album Lemonade. It resonated with me, mostly because of the stage of life I was in at the time. That was the hook, line, and sinker! I had to see her live.

From the day we purchased our tickets, my friend and I were ECSTATIC. 

In the VIP lounge with Erica

For months we discussed how we thought the show would be. Considering that Lemonade was filmed in NOLA, we knew the show would be special. We hoped that she’d have Big Freedia there, I mean it was only right. Sure enough, Freedia was there! Girl down!!

At that point I was too bucked up!!

I cant even begin to describe how amazing her visuals were! I mean y’all this chick is EFFIN awesome. I can go on and on about how breathtaking Beyoncé is. Her energy was crazy!

I think her empowerment of women is what drew me in. She is so inspiring and motivating. She lets women know how we can in fact have any and everything we want, there’s no need to be dependent upon a man to chase our dreams and make them come true. Its kind of sickening how men say she bashes men, when that isn’t true at all. The empowerment of women equates the bashing of men, c’mon bruh. 

​​​​As women we should whole-heartedly motivate one another to be the best kick ass woman we can be. When women work together we can accomplish anything, and I mean ANYTHING. 
So please knows that girls do in fact run the world. Haha ladies let’s get in formation! 

Mrs. Knowles-Carter, I am now a forever fan! 🐝🍋🐝

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Stay tuned for more super late posts 😜

​​ 

Life’s a beach!

The beach is undoubtedly one of my favorite places to be. Next to my home, the beach is my place of peace. I can sit there, and do absolutely nothing. 

The sand between my toes and the sound of the waves crashing, is just refreshing. It’s almost as if the waves wash away all the negativity in my life. 

I once read a post in Huffington Post, I believe, that being outdoors makes you healthier and happier. Certainly after I leave the beach, I feel happier and ready to tackle anything that comes my way. 

The most refreshing part of it all for me, is watching my boys be children. Free. Running, jumping, and falling over in laughter. We can become so consumed with our lives, and never take time away to just be free and enjoy the great outdoors. ​

As much as I would love to capture every moment in a photograph, I know the importance of unplugging, being in the moment, and making memories.

The beach will always be my preferred place in nature. Not sure if that’s because I’m a Pisces and most comfortable in or near water. Nonetheless, the beach is an amazing place to earth and recharge. 

Life’s A Beach-
At the beach, life’s different. 

Time doesn’t move, 

Waves crash the ocean front, 

Kissing my feet. 

Sea glass glistens in the sun, 

The warm air dances around me 

Giving a new start to the world. 

The sand tingles under my feet 

Like being tickled by love. 

Laying on the beach shore, 

Tanning the day away. 

The tans may fade, 

But memories 

Never do. 

-Patricia Polka

As often as possible, spend time outdoors! You’ll thank yourself in the end, your happiness could depend on it. Remember, it’s ok to step away from your routine life. 

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Sophina DeJesus, We Salute You


Unless you just do not do social media at all, then you have seen the video of  the UCLA gymnast, Sophina DeJesus, that has been circulating. Up until this point, the only thing I knew about gymnastics was that my sister had taken a couple classes as a youth, and my uncle had a crush on Dominique Dawes.  I decided to do some research. First things first, I watched the video, a couple times. I was impressed. I was hyped that her teammates and student section were cheering her on.

Sophina DeJesus used her #BlackGirlMagic to amaze the world with her latest floor routine. For the record, DeJesus identifies as both Black and Latina.

Gymnastics is a routine sport, in which there is rarely any deviation from the norm. However, Miss DeJesus unapologetically incorporated modern dance craze with the style and grace of traditional gymnastics. Sophina is a 21-year-old Sociology senior at UCLA, her career highlights include, Two-time All-American on bars, Two-time Pac-12 Freshman of the Week, 2009 U.S. National Team member, Three-time USA Championships competitor (UCLA Player Profile).

 Google Images 

Sophina is no stranger to the spotlight. She was featured, alongside her sister Savannah, on Hip Hop Harry, a  TLC show for children. DeJesus has been in commercials and acted alongside world famous dancer/choreographer Debbie Allen in a Broadway play.

Not only did she execute the edginess of the “whip” and “nae nae” alongside her graceful tumbles, but she did so with blue hair! Very lovely blue hair, might I add.  Black female athletes have often been severely scrutinized for their hair and bodies,  as Gabby Douglas was during the 2012 Olympics, and recently Serena Williams. Sophina served up a dish of “Here I am! I’m gonna do this my way, and who’s gonna stop me!”

 Google Images 

Sophina made me want to “hit the Quan”. Her transitions from classic to modern were so effortless! She displayed great athleticism and flexed her boldness, She pushed the envelope a little further, by rocking a traditional gymnast hairstyle with a pop of color that gave her individuality. I personally admire the fact that her teammates and fans were just as “lit” as she was. To me that is a great indication of comradery and leadership from DeJesus. Sophina, you conveyed to girls of color, that they too can use their #BlackGirlMagic to distinguish themselves in their craft. Just as Gabby Douglas brought awareness of gymnastics to girls of color,  DeJesus went the extra mile to bring awareness to the fact that you can be a gymnast with some flava!  Sophina DeJesus, you now have the floor, pun intended, with our undivided attention. You have successfully made yourself a topic of conversation, a household name (at least at my residence), and an inspiration to girls of color all over the world. Keep sprinkling that Black Girl Magic Miss DeJesus. We salute you!

In case you haven’t seen her routine, here it is :

 

Sophina DeJesus UCLA Floor v Utah
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Marley Dias 

 

 Photo courtesy of Andrea Cipriani Mecchi

Being the mother of two young black boys I am unwavering in my desire to read to them, as reading unlocks the imagination. I know all too well the struggle of finding children’s books that represent people of color. That my boys can relate to. Marley Dias, an 11-year old sixth grader from New Jersey, also wanted books that she could relate to. She had grown weary of reading literature about “ white boys and their dogs”. A student at Thomas A. Edison Middle School, Marley created a campaign dubbed #1000BlackGirlBooks.

In a interview with PEOPLE magazine, Marley stated “When you are reading about a book, you focus on the main character, of course… When you have something in common with them and connect with them, you remember the lessons they learned and then you can apply them to your life. So you can live the best life you can.” Is this not what we want our youth to do when reading stories designed to teach life lessons? The #1000BlackGirlBooks campaign began in November 2015 and ended February 1st, 2016, and was geared towards receiving one thousand books that little black girls can empathize with. You know, strong, fearless, and intelligent characters.

 

 Photo courtesy of Dias family

Marley plans to return to her mothers hometown, St. Mary Jamaica, and deliver them to the schools and libraries. She also plans to give St. Cloud Elementary books as week, to diversify their collections. Janice Johnson Dias, Marleys mother, stated how they will create a resource guide for the books, so that communities all over will be able to access them. Dias, along with Black Thought of The Roots cofounded GrassROOTS Community Foundation, in which she serves as president. The organization is directed at enhancing the wellbeing of women and girls. Marley had some experience before bringing this campaign. She was a recipient of  a Disney Friends For Change grant, in which she held a book fair for children in Newark, dispersing books to the youth there.

With campaigns like #1000BlackGirlBooks we will begin to see more literature that our little black boys and girls can relate to. Things like Marleys campaign will encourage our adolescents to read more and potentially become authors themselves. Marley Dias you have done a great service for girls all over, who too are tired of reading stories with characters that do not represent them. In here interview with PEOPLE, Marley stated,

“Anyone can change the world however they want for the better! This book drive is supposed to inspire bigger change. “

Our youth are becoming great forces within our communities, and it is up to us to assist them along the way. Folks, both young and old, let Marley be an example of how your thoughts can become reality. With your drive and will to succeed along with the proper resources anything is possible.

Marley I wish you great success in everything you venture out to do. You are a black girl who rocks!
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What’s Love Got to do With It

With these writings, I will make myself and my life completely vulnerable. Being vulnerable and putting yourself out there, is how you grow. If you’re never vulnerable, you never change.

This post is very different from anything I’ve ever written, but my experiences may help someone else.

It has been a hell of an emotional roller coaster with my sons father. During my pregnancy things got extremely rocky, to the point that I just let him be. I had full understanding that having a baby does not guarantee a man will be with you. I was about 5 months pregnant, and gave him his space and watched life unfold.

June 2013, the day before Father’s Day, we were discussing the possibility of having another child. We agreed there were issues to be handled prior to, but all in all seemed to be on the same page. Father’s Day rolls around, and one of the issues to be taken care of was another woman who knew no boundaries. To sum everything up, he chose her over me. Cool! I did not fuss with him or anything, I just let him be. My son was a year and a half old and was moving with his father on this day as well. I did not cry about the situation until he came to get the last of his things from my house.

I semi moved on. I eventually had another child with someone else. Guess what? That’s when he decides he wants to express how he really felt. Where was this when it mattered?!?

I can’t remember the reason why, but my dad came to visit. My dad and my sons father have a talk. In this conversation he disclosed to my dad that he wants to be with me, but because I have another child, he’s not sure. Whaaaaatever! Anyhow, we were slowly working on getting back to where we were before the Father’s Day fiasco in 2013.

Everything was going well, we were going places together, reconnecting. March 5th, 2015, my 27th birthday. He made the day special, and after 3 years we were finally intimate again. After that we really “leveled up”.

Memorial Day 2015, he states he has something to tell me. My heart drops instantly. Somehow I already knew what it was. He goes on to say “I have another child on the way.” I said “ok, no shocker there. I was expecting this.” So I then ask “Well who’s the mom?” When he told me, I instantly lost my shit. The woman he had gotten pregnant was a woman he alleged would just babysit our son for him. I asked when was the baby is due, I could have punched his face in when he told me the date. I even asked what they were naming the baby, and he would never say. I asked had he told our son, he told me he hadn’t. We had a short period of time to take this in. All I could think about was that bullshit he told my dad. How do you have a child on the way, yet give a bullshit answer to my father about me having another child.

In the days after, everybody asked was I ok. I really was. People kept saying it’s ok to cry if you need to. I genuinely had no desire to cry about it. I mean, for what? What would crying solve?

He eventually told me what they were naming the child. I’ll admit I was salty as hell! Like who does that, but hey if that’s what y’all want to do.

Moving forward.

One day I drop my oldest son off at daycare, and one of the workers goes “His brother is here today”, I was confused because my baby boy didn’t attend that daycare. She went on to say, “You know the baby brother”. I’m 38 hot. You don’t think it’s important to tell that your son and his mother have moved to the same city? I had to find out by dropping my son off at school? He of course gave a bullshit explanation.

It’s been a constant back and forth of events. I made a promise to myself that I’d never be a bitter woman. My approach to everything is keep quiet and let it all unfold.

I’m mature enough to conduct myself accordingly, so the other mother and I have never had any issues. We ended up having a conversation the day before Father’s Day this year. A lot was revealed to me. To say these things were surprising would be a lie. I already knew of what I had gone through with him, so why would he change now?

I will be honest, my ego kicked in. I thought of everything I could make her aware of, but I let it be. Egos and not wanting to look foolish can turn situations far worse than they need to be. 

Of course, he was with the apologies, but I told him he could keep them. He should have just left me alone. I accept my responsibility in this as well. I allowed myself to be dragged back into foolery.

There are a plethora of things that have occurred that make me question his definition of love and respect. Clearly he neither loves or respects either of us.

One example that made me reconsider my entire life was the reality show Love & Hip Hop. I don’t watch it, but because of social media it’s easy to keep up with what happens on the show. Everyone talks about how dumb Tara and Amina are, but that can happen to any of us if we aren’t careful. People often say love will keep you in a situation, I say your pride and ego will keep you in a situation. I remember he even admitted to me that he was trying to get me back for having another child. People are quick to bring up my other son and his father, but I’m not out here doing relationship things with his father.

What is it about the insecurities of a man, that will allow him to constantly destroy good women? I admittedly don’t have anything bad to say about all parties involved, other than we’re all dumb. I own my faults, why not? Can’t be in denial about what’s happening and what has happened in your life. Accept it, learn from it, grow, and move forward.

Opinions are like assholes, EVERYBODY has one. Let people say what they want about what you should and shouldn’t do, but you ultimately have the final say so. As women we have to stop giving men the option of continually placing us in drama. Don’t be afraid to call him out on his bs, never let your voice go unheard. One thing I can say is I never took up issues with the women involved, I always brought the issues to him.

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.- Frederick Douglass

The best thing for me now is to remove myself from the situation all over again. I know the feelings and expectations that come with having your first child. I told him she’d have those same expectations as well. We co-parent our son very well, and that’s what really matters. He’s happy and is very loved.

I often joke about writing a book of my experiences, but I think I just may do it. In today’s world, we are groomed to hide our problems. I’ve said time and time again, I don’t mind speaking on the events of my life. You never know who your life will inspire.

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Toddler TMNT Themed Party 

My now two year old, did not have a 1st birthday party, and I thought it was only right he got a party this year. He absolutely loves Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for whatever reason, so I chose that as his theme.

I decided to have his party at his favorite park. The park comes equipped with a splash pad, playground, and various other things. I went to Pinterest for some ideas. I found some great ideas, and chose what I thought would be best for a toddler party.

Before I post and describe what ideas, I’ll tell y’all that my phone went haywire the day of the party, so I captured what I could with others phones.

I thought the ninja turtle sewer lids was the cutest thing ever!

I found the tray at my neighborhood dollar tree.  I created the sign with Microsoft Word and glued it onto craft sticks, so it wouldn’t fly away.

I came across recipes to create “sewer slime”, but I chose to keep it simple by just purchasing green Hawaiian Punch.

The bottles made it easy for everyone to keep up with their drink.

The cupcakes were made at the bakery at our neighborhood Albertsons. Believe it or not, they make some of the best cakes!


To feed the kiddos, we got pizza from Little Caesars. I purchased five of the Hot n Ready pizzas. I actually thought it would have been too much pizza, but it was just enough.

I found the pizza boxes used for the gift boxes on WebstaurantStore. The boxes were shipped flat. My first job was at Domino’s, so assembly was sort of second nature. I found a TMNT image on Google. I used Microsoft Publisher to add writing to the photo.

I simply printed the box covers and glued them on with my handy hot glue gun.

It actually rained the day of the party, but everything turned out alright!


Birthday boy enjoyed himself, as did his guests.


Overall, the party turned out nicely inspite of the weather. Thank you Pinterest for helping me plan a fairly simple party! 

Thank you for reading!

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