As a mother of two, I try to make sure both my boys get some one on one time with me.
I usually treat them to something they’ve been asking to do, and I let them talk about whatever it is that is on their minds.
Two weeks ago, I surprised my oldest with crawfish and a slush after school. The night before, he displayed behavior that made me so proud of him.
My baby boy had an ingrown toenail, and he was super whiny about it (I would’ve been too).
As I’m doctoring on his toe, he began to cry a little. Big brother came right in and grabbed his face, one hand on each cheek and said “It’s okay brother. I know it hurts, but mama is tryna make it better”. Baby brother then whimpers out “Okay”. It was the sweetest thing I had ever witnessed.
While still holding his cheeks, he coached his brother through a series of deep breaths.
Before he knew it, I was done, and his toe felt better.
“See big brother told you it was gonna be okay”.
I couldn’t help but smile when I heard that.
As the eldest sibling, you naturally swoop in and save your siblings. I was so proud of that display of love and care.
During our date I let him talk as usual. When it was all said and done, he gave me a hug and said ” I love you mommy”.
Sometimes I feel like I’m surely messing up as a mother, there’s no official guide to motherhood. However these precious moments confirm that I’m doing something right.
I am so proud of my son and how much he’s grown over the years.
Being the oldest is a sucky job at times, but someone has to do it.
A couple days ago, I woke up feeling some kind of way. As many of you know, Amir had 3 major head surgeries before he was a year old. The aftermath required him to have to go to different therapies to reach all his developmental milestones again (though thing for a parent to deal with). I remember at one of his neurology appointments, the neurologist told me “ You can have him tested to be put in special ed”. I told her that wouldn’t be necessary, but he was like two, so I was like what the fuck. That shit was always in the back of my mind. She was ready to label him without even really knowing him or assessing him.
Fast forward to now
He’s gearing up to attend Pre-K in the fall, and because he stutters occasionally, I went ahead and had him assessed. Ya know because I don’t want anything in the way of him learning.
The woman who assessed him took my concerns just as seriously as I did, and I appreciate that. I explained his medical history to her, and she was shocked. She stated how she never would’ve guessed he had gone through so much.
So boom, she begins assessing him. He’s ripping through these tests like it’s nothing. Answering everything with ease, and a bit of smartassness, (pretty sure I made that up). He even knew things I thought he didn’t know, things he’d tell me ” I don’t know” as an answer when we are reviewing material. Every so often she’d stop and say “Mom, I don’t know what you’re worried about, he’s really smart”.
I could see for myself she was thoroughly impressed, her body language said it all. She tested him for about 30 minutes, right. When she was done, she stated how he’s performing how they expect 6 year olds to perform. I was like what you talking about Willis. To me he was simply being smart ass Amir. (Insert gif)
She stated how she only heard him *insert technical name for stuttering here* once, and that it certainly does not affect his learning abilities.
Having him tested eased a lot of things for me. Knowing my 3-year and 9 month old perform how they expect 6-year olds to perform was quite comforting. My efforts of educating him have paid off.
After the assessment was done, I began to think about how the neurologist was ready to throw him into special education. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with special education, but I do have a problem with people labeling children, particularly black boys, before giving them a chance to display what they are capable of.
Parents should certainly get their children the help they need, but don’t let anyone label your children. You have to fight with and for your children. Don’t ever let anyone just throw labels on them.
I wonder where my baby would be now had I settled for what the neurologist suggested.
Nonetheless, I am super excited about my baby going to big boy school. He’s so elated to finally be going to school with his big brother. Hmm 🤔, I wonder what the results would show if I had my oldest tested, that kid is highly intelligent.
Each one of my children have taught me very different things, and that’s what motherhood is about. Not only are we to teach our children, but they teach us.
This journey with Prince Amir has been an extremely turbulent one at times, but oh so beautiful.
I recently went out in Beaumont for the first time ever, and it was fun! I flew solo as I don’t have any friends here.
The occasion was a 90s party, so I jumped at the opportunity. Ya know, because I love the 90s!
What I had originally envisioned to wear didn’t work out 😩 #bummer
I wasn’t too distraught, as I have countless outfit ideas in mind.
I miraculously found my hoodie at Forever 21. They have great 90s styles! Everything else I already owned. See outfit below 👇🏾
When I walked in the bar, lots of people immediately commented how they liked my ensemble. It was kind of weird at first, but hey 🤷🏾♀️.
When I was at the bar this guy commented on how my Nintendo hoodie was awesome 🤙🏾.
Once I had made my final round to the bar, a random drunk lady walked up to me and asked was I from Beaumont. My reply was no of course. She went on to say that she could tell from the way I was dressed, and thanked me for bringing my style to Beaumont. It was weird as hell, but I’m finding the most random moments in my life confirm a lot of things I put out into the universe.
We went on to slap slap bracelets on each other’s wrists. I mean what’s a 90s party without them?
The few photos I have from that night were taken by other drunk women. There’s an unspoken allegiance is women have when drunk.
Overall the night was great, and I’ll definitely be going out more. Going out alone isn’t all that weird, it’s all in your mind. How else will one make friends if they are always in the house.
Hoodie: Forever 21
Shorts: Rue 21
Boots: Dr Martens
Beanie: Forever 21
Also to be noted, my blog post have slowed down due to my kids breaking both my laptop and desktop 😩. Actually my desktop won’t power on, so I won’t blame that on the boys, but they are certainly the cause of the broken laptop. My screen is cracked, badly.
Anywho, I’m being diligent in my next laptop purchase, and will be back to weekly posts once I do.
I’m 2 months shy of being 30, and I can finally say I am comfortable with my body. I’m low key cringing now typing this.
In high school, guys used to tell me I was built like a man because of my athletic build 🙄. I’m one of those people who can noticeably tone their body after just a few days of exercise.
I have always had big legs, playing sports enhanced that, making that an insecurity for a LONG time.
After I had my second son, I had beaucoup stretch marks. Which I never really cared about, but I like wearing crop tops so 🤷🏾♀️.
I think as women we stress way too much over superficial things. I previously wrote about doing what makes you comfortable (Do You Boo), and that’s some advice I needed to take myself.
Yes I have stretch marks, yes my legs are huge, yes I have a lil gut (don’t be fooled by the pics), and I’m not the most curvy woman, but 🖕🏾 it.
I love my lil body, all one hundred and 80lbs of it. A part of my mission is encouraging other women to feel comfortable with themselves. Truth is we’re all working on getting over insecurities. Take it a day at a time. It’s taken me roughly 12 years to be completely comfortable with mybody.
I attended my first Houston Rockets game yesterday, and it was pretty cool.
I can say New Orleans Pelicans fans are completely different than Rockets fans.
As I was getting dressed to leave, my youngest son said ” Mama I wanna go with you”, and to my surprise my oldest replied ” Can mama get a break from us”. In that moment I realized how much my son does care about my well being.
Once I was dressed, in rolled the boys and their commentary. “Ooooo mama, you look cute”. “Mama you look bourgeois (boujee)”.
My babies tickle me, I don’t know where I’d be without these characters.
As a mom, we tend to buy for our children, even when they don’t need it, before we buy for ourselves.
With the exception of my boots, everything I had on was purchased on sale/clearance.
Looking great doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg. I’m not saying don’t pay full price for items, but if you don’t have to, why should you?
This blog post actually went into a different direction as originally planned. 🤷🏾♀️
I had fun at the Rockets game. I’ll definitely be attending more. I have to learn about the players on the team, so I can fully be into the games.
I’m going to put together a list of my sale shopping tips, so be on the look out for that.
An incident occurred between myself and my son that inspired me to write this.
We recently moved into a bigger apartment, and as I was unpacking, he kept messing with things I asked him not to. I ignored him for a bit, then I fussed at him. In the midst of me fussing, he put his hand on my face, and said “Mama, I love you”.
Not going to lie, it was the sweetest thing ever, buuuuuut it immediately made me think of the countless numbers of times, that mechanism has been used to attempt to deflect in a relationship.
I explained to him how I loved him too, but it doesn’t negate the fact that I was upset with him for continuing to do something he was specifically told not to do.
This whole ordeal had me thinking about the behaviors men pick up in childhood, that carry over into their adult life. P.S. I’m generalizing, but I’m more than sure it’s applicable to most.
I can recall a couple occurrences where the “I love you” or “Do you still love me” card was pulled, and even then I wondered what did that have to do with the issue at hand.
Is this something men do to get you to forget why you’re mad? Is it supposed to make me be any less mad? And how did my 3-year old know to attempt it?
Being a boy mom, I have always fought to raise emotionally intelligent sons, because as a woman I know the frustration of a man not understanding 🙄. I don’t want someone asking my sons “who raised you” or telling them their mama didn’t teach them anything.
I’m fairly certain that I explained to his 3-year old level of understanding how someone’s feelings towards you shouldn’t change when they’re mad or what have you AND that you shouldn’t try to use love or the illusion there of to manipulate them.
This makes me wonder the number of men who wouldn’t be fuck boys had someone sat them down during their youth and explained what emotional intelligence and accountability is.
I said all of this to say, when you see your children or children you interact with regularly exhibiting certain behaviors you know to be manipulative, correct them. They hear you. They may act like they don’t, oh but they do. We have to hold children accountable for the things they do in order for them to grow into adults who hold themselves accountable.
Many things I have experienced while dating, have helped me to learn what to watch for and intercept with my sons. After all, I am raising someone’s future husband.
So I have decided to add a section to my blog called, “Sarah’s Self Care Suggestions”. Here I will be giving tips on how one can better care for self, as self care is so vital. We cannot care for other people until we first take care ourselves.
As a mother, I know all too well the uncontrollable desire to put your children before yourself, when more than likely our children lack nothing. The first installment of this new section will be about detoxing and alkalizing the body with baking soda.
Many of us are familiar with baking soda being used in the kitchen for baking and keeping the refrigerator odor free. Baking soda, also called sodium bicarbonate, is cost effective and a very efficient natural health commodity
Baking soda is one of the best ways to alkalize the body. It helps with issues such as hemorrhoids, yeast infections, urinary tract infections (UTIs), and balances the body pH, just to name a few. When your body is not alkalized, you are susceptible to inflammation and degeneration, ultimately creating an unfavorable environment. Scary, right?
Now that I’ve given you some background information, I’m going to tell you how to create a detoxing spa experience at home.
Moms, you know that window of free time you have once you put the kids to bed, use it for yourself. Whatever didn’t get done, won’t get done, so don’t hurt yourself trying to do it. You deserve some time to yourself.
The first thing you need to do is gather your supplies, baking soda of course being the most important. You can put on some relaxing music, light some candles, and burn some incense. Whatever you need to relax.
Next, fill the tub with hot water, as hot as you can stand it. Once you’ve filled your tub with water, put your baking soda in. Make sure its dissolved before getting in. I recommend first timers use just a cup of baking soda, and you can gradually increase the number of cups used the more you do this.
Soak for about 30-45 minutes. DRINK PLENTY OF WATER!! You will get thirsty when doing this. You should drink 20-32 ounces of water while soaking, and more once you get out.
After you’re done soaking, gently rinse your body off. I personally like to bathe with a lavender soap after my rinse to further relax the body to ensure a excellent nights sleep.
Once you’ve gotten out, do NOT moisturize your body, as your body will sweat out toxins while you’re sleeping. So you’ll need to wash your sheets after this as well.
Wake up refreshed
So, when you feel your body getting out of sync and just feeling plain ‘ol nasty, take a baking soda bath to refresh yourself.
Your body will thank you. We cannot properly care for anyone or anything else until we first care for ourselves.
I hope you enjoyed this post, let me know your results if you decide to try this. Also, be on the look out for many more tips.
I haven’t been writing much lately, and I miss it. One thing I have always wanted to do was give my readers some insight on who I am. What better way than to give you all some facts about me.
Let’s jump right in.
#1. Not that interesting, but worth noting, I am the oldest sibling. At times I really hate it, because I’m often put in situations where i have to rescue my siblings. Oftentimes when I give advice, they don’t listen, and then I have to hit them with the “I told you so”. It’s a stressful job but somebody has to do it.
#2. Nobody believes me at first, but I wear a size 11 shoe. Once I convince people that its true, they always say my feet don’t look that big. I mean they are pretty proportionate to the rest of my body, so it doesn’t look strange. Here’s a post I’ve previously written on where I get most of my shoes, 6 Inch.
#3. I am a huge Future fan 🙈. I freakin love that man, he has a song for any mood that I may be in. I’m not sure why so many people dislike him and his music. Not only do I love his music, but he’s easy on the eyes. My friends tell me every time they see a post of his come up in their newsfeeds, they know it’s because I liked it.
Performing his hit song “Mask off” June 22nd 2017, The Woodlands TX
#4. I am constantly changing my hair. I love trying new looks, it’s fun. People assume that people who change their hair a lot have no sense of self, and I completely disagree with that. I know who I am, and I simply like having different hairstyles and colors. 🤷🏾♀️
#5. Mental health is a serious issue to me. People very frequently brush mental health off, and it’s not something to be taken lightly. I am highly upset when I hear people make jokes about the mental health of others. Inner peace is something everyone deserves to have. People should address issues they may have and not let anyone convince them that they’re crazy, making things up, or what have you. Seek the help that you need, you’ll love yourself for that. Your mental wellness is a great part of who you are. #6. I’ll probably be a forever student. My mom used to tell me as a teenager, that I’d probably be in school the rest of my life. I thoroughly enjoy school. Presently I have a Bachelors degree in History from the University of Louisiana Monroe (Go Hawks Go), I am currently working on my Masters in Public Administration. Once I finish my masters program, I plan to go to massage therapy school. I also have plans to become a certified doula. I do my best to let others know that you can accomplish any and everything you desire to do in life.
#7. I love to travel. My travels began in undergrad with study abroad. If you or anyone close to you has the opportunity to do so, GO FOR IT! My primary goal is to visit all states 2-3 times with a different adventure in mind every time. I include my children when deciding on what to do on our adventures. They come up with pretty sweet ideas, might I add. I have a Cabo and Korea trip in the works, so stay tuned for that. You should know travel really is not expensive with the right amount of planning. Our latest adventure was to Lawn and Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. I encourage everyone to travel, even if its no mare than exploring other cities in the area you live.
#8. I hate taking pictures! I would much rather be the person behind the camera. I find posing for pics extremely awkward. So I guess I could say I don/t like taking pics because I never know what how to pose. It’s not so bad when I have some direction on what to do.
#9. I can very easily unplug form the world. When I feel overwhelmed with life, my phone is the first thing to get the boot. I will put it on do not disturb and spend as much time alone as possible ( it can seem impossible with a 3 and 5 year old). Hmm, I guess this goes back to number 5. My friends know that once I have figured it all out, I come back to society. Some would say that a Pisces thing. ♓️
31 days into the new year, and my oldest son gives us a scare.
I was asleep, and I was a awakened by several phone calls from his father. I return them. Still half sleep, I’m listening to him tell me how he’s about to take my baby to the emergency room. I was like “Whaaat? Wait why?!?”
Trying to wake up and process what he was telling me is funny to me now, but it wasn’t when it was happening.
I jumped up, threw some clothes on, and drove briskly to the ER.
When I arrive, dad was answering questions, and the kid was lying in the bed watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. In my mind I’m like “ok he’s nice and comfy while I’m panicked”. I mean he was just chilling.
So the doc basically tells us that the kid has something lodged in his ear, it’s not a toy though. Hmm ok. Son what’s in your ear. The doctor leaves to get his colleague to come take a look.
While he was gone, dad and I are asking questions, attempting to figure out how he got something in his ear. As most may know, 5-year olds are elaborate storytellers. We got several different stories, some were funny, and some we were like ok son, that’s an extreme exaggeration.
The doctors come back, one had his campers light in tow. He managed to get a good look into my sons ear. Low and behold, the mystery item is a red bead. It’s Mardi Gras season here in Louisiana, so maybe he was feeling festive.
Now I’m thinking what would possess my child to put a bead in his ear. Even before we questioned him, I knew he did it. Even with his ever changing story, I knew he did it. You just know your children.
So the docs go on to tell us how they’re gonna attempt to get it out, if not, he has to go to an ENT specialist. Great! Let’s hope they can get it out.
No luck! The kid was too fidgety. Oh! I forgot to mention they gave him some medication to relax him, and it still didn’t work. Great! I hate, hate, hate giving my kids medication, so I was feeling a way about that.
I will say we got some great laughs from this ordeal. He goes to the ENT soon, so I wonder what memories will come from that.
Dad and I joked about how we’ll be in the ER a lot as we both have two sons. My two are certainly a force to be reckoned with. As a mother of boys, I’ve accepted that I’ll be in the hospital a many of days as my boys are curious and extremely rough. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
So 2017 has already been filled with adventure from the boys, I’m curious to see what else they can potentially get into this year.
What are some things your child(ren) have done to give you a great scare?
As the adventures unfold, I’ll keep you guys posted.