I’m So Proud Of You

As a mother of two, I try to make sure both my boys get some one on one time with me.

I usually treat them to something they’ve been asking to do, and I let them talk about whatever it is that is on their minds.

Two weeks ago, I surprised my oldest with crawfish and a slush after school. The night before, he displayed behavior that made me so proud of him.

My baby boy had an ingrown toenail, and he was super whiny about it (I would’ve been too).

As I’m doctoring on his toe, he began to cry a little. Big brother came right in and grabbed his face, one hand on each cheek and said “It’s okay brother. I know it hurts, but mama is tryna make it better”. Baby brother then whimpers out “Okay”. It was the sweetest thing I had ever witnessed.

While still holding his cheeks, he coached his brother through a series of deep breaths.

Before he knew it, I was done, and his toe felt better.

“See big brother told you it was gonna be okay”.

I couldn’t help but smile when I heard that.

As the eldest sibling, you naturally swoop in and save your siblings. I was so proud of that display of love and care.

During our date I let him talk as usual. When it was all said and done, he gave me a hug and said ” I love you mommy”.

Sometimes I feel like I’m surely messing up as a mother, there’s no official guide to motherhood. However these precious moments confirm that I’m doing something right.

I am so proud of my son and how much he’s grown over the years.

Being the oldest is a sucky job at times, but someone has to do it.

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Testing, Testing

A couple days ago, I woke up feeling some kind of way. As many of you know, Amir had 3 major head surgeries before he was a year old. The aftermath required him to have to go to different therapies to reach all his developmental milestones again (though thing for a parent to deal with). I remember at one of his neurology appointments, the neurologist told me “ You can have him tested to be put in special ed”. I told her that wouldn’t be necessary, but he was like two, so I was like what the fuck. That shit was always in the back of my mind. She was ready to label him without even really knowing him or assessing him.

Fast forward to now

He’s gearing up to attend Pre-K in the fall, and because he stutters occasionally, I went ahead and had him assessed. Ya know because I don’t want anything in the way of him learning.

The woman who assessed him took my concerns just as seriously as I did, and I appreciate that. I explained his medical history to her, and she was shocked. She stated how she never would’ve guessed he had gone through so much.

So boom, she begins assessing him. He’s ripping through these tests like it’s nothing. Answering everything with ease, and a bit of smartassness, (pretty sure I made that up). He even knew things I thought he didn’t know, things he’d tell me ” I don’t know” as an answer when we are reviewing material. Every so often she’d stop and say “Mom, I don’t know what you’re worried about, he’s really smart”.

I could see for myself she was thoroughly impressed, her body language said it all. She tested him for about 30 minutes, right. When she was done, she stated how he’s performing how they expect 6 year olds to perform. I was like what you talking about Willis. To me he was simply being smart ass Amir. (Insert gif)

She stated how she only heard him *insert technical name for stuttering here* once, and that it certainly does not affect his learning abilities.

Having him tested eased a lot of things for me. Knowing my 3-year and 9 month old perform how they expect 6-year olds to perform was quite comforting. My efforts of educating him have paid off.

After the assessment was done, I began to think about how the neurologist was ready to throw him into special education. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with special education, but I do have a problem with people labeling children, particularly black boys, before giving them a chance to display what they are capable of.

Parents should certainly get their children the help they need, but don’t let anyone label your children. You have to fight with and for your children. Don’t ever let anyone just throw labels on them.

I wonder where my baby would be now had I settled for what the neurologist suggested.

Nonetheless, I am super excited about my baby going to big boy school. He’s so elated to finally be going to school with his big brother. Hmm 🤔, I wonder what the results would show if I had my oldest tested, that kid is highly intelligent.

Each one of my children have taught me very different things, and that’s what motherhood is about. Not only are we to teach our children, but they teach us.

This journey with Prince Amir has been an extremely turbulent one at times, but oh so beautiful.

If you haven’t, you can read about it here

Treat Yo’self

Yesterday was Galentine’s Day, and all my gal pals live in other states. Today is Valentine’s Day, and I’m single. No biggie! I still treated myself.

I can’t stress enough to people how being single should not be something that worries you. Your singleness should empower you.

In your singleness. You should learn who you, what you like, what you don’t like, so on and so forth.

I never really understood why people let one day get them all bent out of shape. Something like Valentine’s Day shouldn’t define your entire existence. This post isn’t about bashing or complaining, it’s about appreciating self.

I know I love white chocolate strawberries, so I treated myself to some. No one should know you better than you know yourself.

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This red velvet white chocolate strawberry was EVERYTHING
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Coconut white chocolate

My babies got me some bath bombs, and I treated myself to a nice bath. Lemongrass bath bomb with pink rose petals. It was hella relaxing.

I’m a firm believer in the Law of Attraction. If I do for myself the things I want a prospective mate to do, he will.

Anything you want, go get it, do it. You are the author of your story.

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Lemongrass Poppyseed soap was sensational

You should always treat yourself to new things and experiences as well as all the things you love. Show yourself appreciation. Love the hell out of yourself. If you don’t, then who will?

Don’t you ever wait to do what you enjoy. Do it now!

💋

Pose For The Camera

Today was a glorious day in my life!

I received my vintage Polaroid camera in the mail. Delivery was delayed by two days, for what reason idk.

When I checked the mail, I literally started dancing. As soon as I got in the house I bust the box open. My son was hella confused as to what it was that I had.

Once he realized how it worked, “Mama, take my picture” is all he kept saying. I obliged. He was so stoked. As was I 🤗

When we went to pick big brother up from school, baby boy couldn’t wait to spill the beans. Of course brother wanted a pic too.

After I took his photo, he laughed about how bright the flash was, 🤷🏾‍♀️.

We are going to have tons of fun with this camera.

If you’re interested in purchasing one, I got it at Polaroid Originals. It was super easy to purchase and shipping was surprisingly fast. Keep in mind these cameras are refurbished.

I’m super excited to have this camera in my possession now.

The Skin I’m In

I’m 2 months shy of being 30, and I can finally say I am comfortable with my body. I’m low key cringing now typing this.

In high school, guys used to tell me I was built like a man because of my athletic build 🙄. I’m one of those people who can noticeably tone their body after just a few days of exercise.

I have always had big legs, playing sports enhanced that, making that an insecurity for a LONG time.

After I had my second son, I had beaucoup stretch marks. Which I never really cared about, but I like wearing crop tops so 🤷🏾‍♀️.

I think as women we stress way too much over superficial things. I previously wrote about doing what makes you comfortable (Do You Boo), and that’s some advice I needed to take myself.

Yes I have stretch marks, yes my legs are huge, yes I have a lil gut (don’t be fooled by the pics), and I’m not the most curvy woman, but 🖕🏾 it.

I love my lil body, all one hundred and 80lbs of it. A part of my mission is encouraging other women to feel comfortable with themselves. Truth is we’re all working on getting over insecurities. Take it a day at a time. It’s taken me roughly 12 years to be completely comfortable with mybody.

Take Off 🚀

I attended my first Houston Rockets game yesterday, and it was pretty cool.

I can say New Orleans Pelicans fans are completely different than Rockets fans.

As I was getting dressed to leave, my youngest son said ” Mama I wanna go with you”, and to my surprise my oldest replied ” Can mama get a break from us”. In that moment I realized how much my son does care about my well being.

Once I was dressed, in rolled the boys and their commentary. “Ooooo mama, you look cute”. “Mama you look bourgeois (boujee)”.

My babies tickle me, I don’t know where I’d be without these characters.

As a mom, we tend to buy for our children, even when they don’t need it, before we buy for ourselves.

With the exception of my boots, everything I had on was purchased on sale/clearance.

Looking great doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg. I’m not saying don’t pay full price for items, but if you don’t have to, why should you?

This blog post actually went into a different direction as originally planned. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I had fun at the Rockets game. I’ll definitely be attending more. I have to learn about the players on the team, so I can fully be into the games.

I’m going to put together a list of my sale shopping tips, so be on the look out for that.

Boots: Shoedazzle

Hat and bag : GoJane

Jeans: Fashion Nova

Sweater: Walmart

Me, Myself, and I

IMG_4388.JPGIn 2016, I decided that 2017 would be the year that I would commit to healing the broken parts of myself.  The decision came from me not wanting to bring issues from my past into my 30’s.  I proclaimed that I would walk into my 30’s a new, maybe not new, but changed woman. I really did, and still do not want to be damaged goods. My 20’s were good, but my 30’s will be greater.

The number one issue in my life that I had to fix was my relationship with my father. My dealings with my dad directly reflect how I treat men. I treat men exactly how I treat my father. I felt as if me being that way would be counterproductive to me teaching my sons to be respectable, accountable, and trustworthy men.

This year, my sister came to live with me. she was raised with our father, I was not, so in a nutshell, we both have daddy issues. We had a many sister talks and got to see our father from each other’s point of view. It was comical to hear all the lies he had told about my mother as to why he was not active in my life. My sister got to see first hand how my dad avoids me. He would call her to check on my kids as opposed to calling me, ya know, their mother.

There were other events that occurred during our time of living together, where we both agreed neither of us had it better than the other.  My father and his ways old fashioned and manipulative had done a great number on us. Those few short months with my sister healed a huge part of me, but there was still work to be done.

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One of my favorite photos of myself and my sister.

I have really gotten into affirmations, setting intentions, and speaking what I want out of life and with my self healing process.

*Fast forward to Thanksgiving 2017*

This was my first Thanksgiving in my adult life with my family on either side. I sat with each of my  family members and had a conversation which confirmed revealed answers I was looking for. It was a bit trippy, I was like damn you unknowingly gave me the answer I have been waiting on. I can say that each answer may not have been the one I wanted, but it was what I needed.

Observing my dad and how he talked to my brother further proved that I really did not miss out on anything. I was like this man is short fused and angry for no reason, oh and lets not forget always right *rolls eyes*. I wanted to engage him in a conversation about this, but he ALWAYS avoids this topic when I bring it up. He never wants to go head to head with me about real issues, that’s another trait I detest in other people.  My dad and his way with people is why I have struggled dearly with trusting men. When I say trusting, I don’t mean I think they will cheat or things of that nature, It’s more of,  “I think you’re generally full of shit and will lie about anything” type of distrust. Knowing what I know now, this train of thought is not healthy.  In the last few months I have gotten better with trusting, as I am learning to change the way I think.

With me making progress in this area, I have been thrown a test in the form of my sons father. The way he handles me and my son is exactly how my dad does me and my mom. It’s beyond frustrating, and makes me want to tear some shit up. Lol, I’m not going that route though. I am determined to completely heal this area and totally transform my thinking. I WILL pass this test.

The self healing process is not pretty. You will cry, you’ll get angry, you’ll be joyous of your progress, but the end result is well worth going through all those things. You have to know that the things you will learn about yourself may piss you off, but if you don’t check self, how can you check anyone else. It will not happen over night, and trust me it is a daily crusade.

It is extremely necessary for one to heal themselves, no one else can do it for you. When working on self beware of other people who are broken and are not trying to change. They will drain and discourage you if you let them. I know it’s easier said than done, but you have to cut that out of your life if you’re serious about healing.

I ultimately want to be a better me, a better mother, daughter, sister, and friend.

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Knowing who you are gives you power over those who challenge your identity.

 

 

 

I Love You 

An incident occurred between myself and my son that inspired me to write this.

We recently moved into a bigger apartment, and as I was unpacking, he kept messing with things I asked him not to. I ignored him for a bit, then I fussed at him. In the midst of me fussing, he put his hand on my face, and said “Mama, I love you”.

Not going to lie, it was the sweetest thing ever, buuuuuut it immediately made me think of the countless numbers of times, that mechanism has been used to attempt to deflect in a relationship.

I explained to him how I loved him too, but it doesn’t negate the fact that I was upset with him for continuing to do something he was specifically told not to do.

This whole ordeal had me thinking about the behaviors men pick up in childhood, that carry over into their adult life.  P.S. I’m generalizing, but I’m more than sure it’s applicable to most.

I can recall a couple occurrences where the “I love you” or “Do you still love me” card was pulled, and even then I wondered what did that have to do with the issue at hand.

Is this something men do to get you to forget why you’re mad? Is it supposed to make me be any less mad? And how did my 3-year old know to attempt it?


Being a boy mom, I have always fought to raise emotionally intelligent sons, because as a woman I know the frustration of a man not understanding 🙄. I don’t want someone asking my sons “who raised you” or telling them their mama didn’t teach them anything.

I’m fairly certain that I explained to his 3-year old level of understanding how someone’s feelings towards you shouldn’t change when they’re mad or what have you AND that you shouldn’t try to use love or the illusion there of to manipulate them.

This makes me wonder the number of men who wouldn’t be fuck boys had someone sat them down during their youth and explained what emotional intelligence and accountability is.

I said all of this to say, when you see your children or children you interact with regularly exhibiting certain behaviors you know to be manipulative, correct them. They hear you. They may act like they don’t, oh but they do. We have to hold children accountable for the things they do in order for them to grow into adults who hold themselves accountable.

Many things I have experienced while dating, have helped me to learn what to watch for and intercept with my sons. After all, I am raising someone’s future husband.

Refresh Yourself! 

So I have decided to add a section to my blog called, “Sarah’s  Self Care Suggestions”. Here I will be giving tips on how one can better care for self, as self care is so vital. We cannot care for other people until we first take care ourselves.

As a mother, I know all too well the uncontrollable desire to put your children before yourself, when more than likely our children lack nothing. The first installment of this new section will be about detoxing and alkalizing the body with baking soda.

Many of us are familiar with baking soda being used in the kitchen for baking  and keeping the refrigerator odor free. Baking soda, also called sodium bicarbonate, is cost effective and a very efficient natural health commodity

Baking soda is one of the best ways to alkalize the body. It helps with issues such as hemorrhoids, yeast infections, urinary tract infections (UTIs), and balances the body pH, just to name a few. When your body is not alkalized, you are susceptible to inflammation and degeneration, ultimately creating an unfavorable environment. Scary, right?

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Now that I’ve given you some background information, I’m going to tell you how to create a detoxing spa experience at home.

Moms, you know that window of free time you have once you put the kids to bed, use it for yourself. Whatever didn’t get done, won’t get done, so don’t hurt yourself trying to do it. You deserve some time to yourself.

 The first thing you need to do is gather your supplies, baking soda of course being the most important. You can put on some relaxing music, light some candles, and burn some incense. Whatever you need to relax.

Next, fill the tub with hot water, as hot as you can stand it. Once you’ve filled your tub with water, put your baking soda in. Make sure its dissolved before getting in. I recommend first timers use just a cup of baking soda, and you can gradually increase the number of cups used the more you do this.

Soak for about 30-45 minutes. DRINK PLENTY OF WATER!! You will get thirsty when doing this. You should drink 20-32 ounces of water while soaking, and more once you get out.

After you’re done soaking, gently rinse your body off. I personally like to bathe with a lavender soap after my rinse to further relax the body to ensure a excellent nights sleep.

Once you’ve gotten out, do NOT moisturize your body, as your body will sweat out toxins while you’re sleeping. So you’ll need to wash your sheets after this as well.

 Wake up refreshed

 

So, when you feel your body getting out of sync and just feeling plain ‘ol nasty, take a baking soda bath to refresh yourself.

Your body will thank you. We cannot properly care for anyone or anything else until we first care for ourselves.

I hope you enjoyed this post, let me know your results if you decide to try this. Also, be on the look out for many more tips.

Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

 

Fresh Out the Bed

For the last six years, I have dreaded getting up in the morning.  Why do I have to get up, can I wait until mid morning?

It wasn’t until March of this year that I decided to get my sleeping habits/pattern under control. This was a result of me acquiring an IPhone 6 Plus and utilizing the bedtime and sleep analysis feature.

My sleep habits were HORRIBLE! I was averaging about 3 hours of sleep a night. I kept wondering how was I able to function throughout the day. I had to get this together and quickly. That also meant that I had to get my boys sleep habits under control as well.

According to the National Sleep Foundation, someone in my age range (26-64) needs anywhere between 7-9 hours each night.

Clearly I was nowhere close to that.

I took the time out to create an evening schedule so that I could be in the bed by 9:45.

I noticed a drastic change in how I felt every morning, except one thing…

I WAS STILL UPSET ABOUT GETTING UP.

I figured I’d set alarms at intervals to slowly pull me out of my sleep. At the time it did not cross my mind, but we sleep in stages, so wouldn’t it make sense that we wake up in stages.

I did no research to see if it would help, I just went straight for experimentation.

With the sleep analysis feature, an alarm is already set for the time you desire, so there is no need to set another for the same rime. Mine is set to go off at 5am, with the subsequent alarms going off at 5:30, 5:45, and 6am.

The alarm set via the sleep analysis feature plays a soft music when it goes off, that does not abruptly wakens me. I am cognizant enough to turn it off, but not completely awakened either.

My 5:30 alarm is the standard alarm sound that comes on the iPhone. That alarm is also tolerable, as I had previously heard an alarm and am now aware that it is almost time to rise

5:45 alarm goes off to the sounds of I Can by HoodRich Pablo Juan & Migos. It helps to get me pumped about getting out of bed and doubles as a bit of motivation.

Lastly, my 6am alarm goes off to the tune of Deadz by Migos. This song totally gets me hyped and encourages one to get those dead presidents (money for those who don’t know).

This may seem like a long process, but it’s completely worth it. I don’t feel like I was cheated out of any rest when I do get out of the bed.  I genuinely feel like a productive member of society when I get up.

I have even tried this with my boys who are most definitely not morning people. I noticed a change in attitude once they are up versus when I would just wake them up and make them immediately get day started. I hear “Good morning mommy” versus them growling and whining.

Get On Up by Jodeci is the song I use to wake my boys.

I am obviously no professional, but I am a busy mama who was tired of feeling, and I am here to share the things I have tried.  This method worked the first try around for me, and we have been using it for months.

Additionally, I had to learn that staying up late to do things while the kids are sleeping was unhealthy.

In conclusion, how you wake up is just as important as falling asleep.

If you try it let me know what you did differently and if you also try it with your children.

Thanks for reading!